A Runner

There are times when we want to return to the past, to lose memories, and feel unable to stop looking backward. There is one philosophy that I love the most ‘bout life. A philosophy of a runner. A good runner is the one who ran as he leaned his body forward and keep looking ahead, but one time there was a time when he wants to look back. Seeing how far he had ran. To see where his opponent’s position is. Then what happen? 

He fell and failed to win the game. The runner is me, you. Us. In the present time. When we keep looking backward, keep regretting the past that have occurred. We can’t move on even more letting go. Trapped and having no effort and courage to creating new step. And not trying, even when we know it’s the only way. Keep staring at the footprints that have been made, won’t change a thing. You cannot move forward if you continue to hold on to what’s behind you. It’s time to let go so that you will have both hands open to grab a hold of the future. Cause you know what? Tragedies did happen. Then what are you gonna do? Stop trying? Give up? Quit? No. When your heart breaks, you have to fight like hell to make sure you’re still alive. Because you are …and that pain you feel, it’s life.

To let go is to be thankful for past time that made you laugh, cry and made you grow. It’s about all you had, all you have and all that you’ll have soon. Letting go is having the courage to accept change, and the strength to keep moving. Letting go is growing up.

When life is sweet, say thank you and celebrate. And when life is getting bitter, say thank you and grow.

& I said thankyou for reading

Love

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The Cure

The water in the open ocean greet the sun, the sun makes it evaporates away into the blue sky high, in a short time the blue sky vanished into dark gray and wet and gloomy, look like it would crying over mother earth, the greenish and brownish earth’s surface overrun by tens millions of tiny raindrop that fall together.

The rain. For me personally it represents so many feelings. I saw an old man rode his bike into the rain, holding stacks of plastic-covered of crumpled newspaper. His body hit by the rain that punctured his skin, but look at the tip of his lips…knotted smile appeared. I saw little kids jogging, dancing and cheering in the rain with ball in their hands. I saw a man wearing his umbrella in the rain ran over to his lover with a warm and intimate hug that sweeps over the atmosphere. I saw… a lot of things that rain brought down to earth. I see a lot of love.

Any human being in the world basically needed love, just like plants need fertilizer to grow which the fertilizer needs man help to fertilize plants, and man needs their hands to hold it, and hands were created with ten fingers on it that fit someone hands. And love is needed to make this happen.

I think, rain explained many things. Rain makes someone shed tears as they remembered someone that take place in their heart. Rain makes someone smile without any reason. Rain brings up so many feeling, revealed so many memories, and a good friend when we feel low.

Nonetheless, rain made me see in different point of view. Cause I’ve conclude that rain brings love to earth. It comes with secret mission… I think. It showering earth with water and cooling earth for a moment to create a sense of warmth by giving cold.

This world is so cluttered and considerably lack of love, it crowded with hatred and needed a cure. And…the rain brings it along as they come.

Wish I could be the rain on your life

Love

Hanna

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Sunday morning

"People simply need three things to be truly happy in this world. Someone to love, things to do & something to look forward." -Mommy♡♥

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God would do nothing on you...

Do you believe that time heals? Cause I used to believe it. Pain grows larger and deeper without any cure given even when time blew deceiving eyes. I guess trust faded as the time turning over and over. I guess, love either.

My brain isn’t functioning perfectly. My heart ached. My head feel heavy. I heard that. The sadness that I have seen in every single word you said. Your puffy eyes never lie. I feel you, evenwhen I couldn’t see you. I know, you feel me near… Cause I’ll go nowhere but your heart. The only thing that would make me feel relieved is to see you happy. Please, live in happiness. I could. Not. See you like this any longer…

Loving you is just not enough

compared with your unconditional love

Just grown up girl

Hana

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The Movement Against Hunger #2 - Be Grateful

I saw a documentary film at church about the movement against hunger in earth. Began with set in a fast food restaurant, and then turned to a group of teenager who were chatting while eating. Not too long after that they left the restaurant with the leftover food on the table. Then the scene focused into the restaurant kitchen, especially the trash  where the rest of the foods that had been consumed by the visitors located, and then there came a feeble old man with a rubbish basket, he took the rest of the junk foods and choose the parts that are not too dirty and still left quite a lot. He arrived home and was welcomed by five children poured out of the house with a face full of joy. And they were his children, the father opened the basket and the children scramble to take the leftover food restaurant. And they ate it. They ate the rest of the foods with a great happiness that glows from their eyes that night. And the most surprising part is the father didn’t forget to lead the prayer before the dinner and He said to his children to always give thanks for the food that they get. Then this film ended by the family laughter and smiles during the dinner…

"There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread."
-- Mohandas K. Gandhi

Heartbreaking, really.

Pathetic to see some people couldn't realize how lucky they are compared to people like the garbage picker man. Many people always feel dissatisfied and insufficient with what they currently have; they continuously compare their lives with people whose standards of living are much higher than theirs. Don’t they remember? There are many people whose life is far beneath the poverty threshold, who live under the bridges, survive with a bit of hopes and skills to obtain a bite of rice. Don’t they realize? Life would be better if they begin to be grateful for their lives; for what they currently have; for the things they get without asking; for convenience that anyone else don’t get; for excess food that they could afford.

Be grateful for your life now, for everything that affluent even excessive.

Change your view of life; take decision to be a better you. For those who suffer from hunger which snatched their happiness; for those who are in pain because starvation; for those who already taken; for those who keep smiling even though skin is the only thing that left overlying their bodies.

'The war against hunger is truly mankind's war of liberation."
-- John F. Kennedy

When you decide to help the hungry people by giving food that was formerly part of the food that you dispose uselessly , it mean you played a role in the movement against hunger. 13 million children are in hunger around the world and 40,000 people die every day from hunger. Make a change and be a part of few people that helped the starving.

"Why should there be hunger and deprivation in any land, in any city, at any table, when man has the resources and the scientific know-how to provide all mankind with the basic necessities of life? There is no deficit in human resources. The deficit is in human will."
-- Martin Luther King, Jr

© Original made by Hana Novita Hasan

Click these link to Help Them:

Action Against Hunger

Better World: End Hunger

Hungry Children

Children Hunger Ends Here

Feed The Children

Love

Hana

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The Movement Against Hunger #1 - Day Minus 5

"Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough."
-Oprah Winfrey

I’m a big food lover. I’d love to accept anyone who invites me for a culinary tour. I stand for hours to see TV show about food and cooking. Basically, I love eating. I frequently spend time with some of my friends hanging out to go eating. And often, I saw they are wasting foods in vain. Especially, rice. I don’t know is there any special reason behind that. Some of them just ate one or two spoons, and then the rest is wasted. Maybe they don’t like it and decide to not eat it. I thought they shouldn’t ordering food that they don’t like, do they? I really don’t like those types who love to throw food, not only because I’m a foodie, but also there is something extremely crucial behind a bite of rice that being wasted.

Far out there, somewhere, there are hundreds or even millions people drenched in sweat toil every day, against the heat of afternoon sun in the middle of the street selling newspaper, busking, scavenger, fight tooth and nail don’t considering the mounting tiredness, or maybe stealing or picking pockets up, until the worst is willing to die for a dime of money for a bite of rice. Noticeable difference. Social gaps that is so pathetic. People throw away foods that easy and the other sides there are people who scavenge food from the garbage can.

"When we work to end childhood hunger, we are giving our love to kids who need it so much they will never ask for it."
-- Beau Bridges

I grew up with a strong embedded self consciousness about appreciating foods, about how grateful that we are able to eat without working hard. Sometimes some people forget how it feels struggling or had never feeling a hard life thereby making them forget to be grateful. Or at least show their appreciation for their parent hard work to earn money by being wise in ‘throwing foods case’. I didn’t mean to offend anyone, let alone patronizing you. I just expressed what had been jammed in my mind; write what I think needs to be written and tell what I think you all need to know. No more, no less….

Help those who is in hunger with small things like stop wasting food.
-- Hana Novita Hasan

© Original made by Hana Novita Hasan

"We know that a peaceful world cannot long exist, one-third rich and two-thirds hungry."
-- Jimmy Carter

"We need to stop the dying and start the living; stop the hunger and start the hoping."
-- Penelope Cruz

Click here to see about Movement Against Hunger, and also here.

Love

Hanna

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Deep and truthful

Unending love

I seem to have loved you in numberless forms, numberless times…
In life after life, in age after age, forever.
My spellbound heart has made and remade the necklace of songs,
That you take as a gift, wear round your neck in your many forms,
In life after life, in age after age, forever.

Whenever I hear old chronicles of love, it’s age old pain,
It’s ancient tale of being apart or together.
As I stare on and on into the past, in the end you emerge,
Clad in the light of a pole-star, piercing the darkness of time.
You become an image of what is remembered forever.

You and I have floated here on the stream that brings from the fount.
At the heart of time, love of one for another.
We have played along side millions of lovers,
Shared in the same shy sweetness of meeting,
the distressful tears of farewell,
Old love but in shapes that renew and renew forever.

Today it is heaped at your feet, it has found its end in you
The love of all man’s days both past and forever:
Universal joy, universal sorrow, universal life.
The memories of all loves merging with this one love of ours -
And the songs of every poet past and forever.

~Rabindranath Tagore
Translated by William Radice

Actually I'm not in the mood of writing anything, due to my pilling up assignment I found my level of fatigue is on the highest level... So I copy this incredible writing to my blog. 

Bonne nuit

Beaucoup d'amour

Hanna

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Random thought...

S H E

Teach me right from wrong.

Teach me to see everything in every different point of view.

Teach me to stop hating.

Teach me to stop holding grudges; life is too short to spend in vain.

Teach me to let go of something that suppose to gone.

Teach me to forget anything that isn’t worth to stay.

Teach me to forgive anyone who did mistakes; cause I did mistakes too; people did; everyone did; no one never do mistakes; mistakes are there to give us life learning; to differ the right from the wrong one.

Teach me to feel thanked in every life condition; because life itself is a blessing.

Teach me to surrender in God; because when there is no one that able to help me, remember that I will always in His reach; whenever I needed Him, all I need to do is fold my hands and close my eyes; then pray.

She is the first person that tells me that nothing is impossible; I thought she was right because the word ‘impossible’ itself say: “I’m-possible”.

Don’t be surprised if most of my blog post contained about my mom. Since she is everything and mean the world to me, I’ll just write about her… again and again. I love her more than anything.

"It's not easy being a mother.  If it were easy, fathers would do it." – Unknown. 

Thanks for the love mom

Much love from the distance

Your little badass girl

Hanna

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Mommy and September

Recent song on played: Wake Me Up When September Ends – Green Day

 “Here comes the rain again…falling from the stars…drenched in my pain again…becoming who we are…”

Wake me up when September ends is the perfect theme song on this time if my life were a movie. Umm I know what is in your mind right now. It is my second blog post tonight & I just wrote this within half and an hour from the previous post, I’ve told you before…My mind will explode if I don’t write something up, got too much thought in my head and feels like I want to write it my heart and brain out tonight…but my eyes and hand won’t have enough strength to overcome this. So let’s get started…

October 1^st, 2011

*feels like diary tehe*

Time goes so fast. It flies in a speed like a Concorde flew. Silent and genuinely fast. Goodbye September, Hello Beautiful October…I’m knocking on your door. Give me your sweetest welcoming and let me in by the time goes by. The first and always my number one wish on every month is Jesus please bless, guide and keep my parent save. Please, give long life and health to the two people I loved the most in this world after You, would You please give them protection and guidance to always be under Your protection and Your way. Then keep my family that hundreds kilometer apart from here. Mommy, Daddy, Lil sister, my dog, my grampa & nana there.

 Second, I want God to always be with me in every decision on my life that I make. Decisions in university matters, life and romance. I wish every decision I take won’t make my parents disappointed but proud of me, because I believe that my parents let go off me away from hometown not with cries and tears but with a lot of hope. Hope that one day their little girl become someone they can be proud of and carry the family name, because I don’t want to carry even one bit of disappointment from here. I want every single thing that I do make them proud.

Two wish that have included the entire wish that I wishing right now. Actually I got something to tell, that I should’ve told here in early September. I know this is late, way too late indeed.

Happy belated birthday to half of my soul, my favorite, my mood booster, my love and my wingless angel that is Mommy. I would not be here right now if it is not because of you. Thank you for seventeen years ago when you insisted on giving me birth even though your life is in danger. Thank you for the choice that you took that moment to keep fighting to get me out when I could not barely get out because I was born with feet first and my head stuck up, then all over my body turned to blue because I was almost out of breath. Thank you for the first nine months that was so precious, as a baby.

Thanks for the infinite love that you gave me; for the most sincere and unconditional love; for the incredible patience; for every door of forgiveness; for the opportunity you let me see the beauty of the world; for every strand of prayer you sent that you put my name into. Mommy, you are my role models because you are the strongest person that I have ever met in this world, maybe not in literally or physical sense but your heart. The one that is incredibly immovable and steadfast; yet so delicate and affectionate.

I want you to know that I love you as deep as the ocean, as high as the sky, as wide as the wide open ocean, somehow I regret old time when I did stupid things that lead you to anger, I’m sorry for that old times when once I act like I don’t care and make you angry. I really don’t want to. I really am. Sorry. You know I love you, even though I never say it through words but I show it through action not words. I know you can see that, I know. Thanks mommy, you know you’re always being my best friend like forever. I love every second that I spent with you, every talk and chitchat that we made, every late night phone call that we made, every joke that we turn into laugh, I don’t know is there any word that can express my feeling right now that more than thank you and I love you. Everything that you did; every word that you said; every hugged and kissed that you give me; will stay forever in my mind, brain and heart. For everything, thank you mom. You are the best. Ever.

"The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness."  -Honoré de Balzac

"Mother love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible."  -Marion C. Garretty, quoted in A Little Spoonful of Chicken Soup for the Mother's Soul

"A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts."  -Washington Irving

Dedicated to the one and only the best mom ever: Dahlia Lukito Retno

Long life mommy :)

 Don't ever make your mom cry 

Cause without her, there would be no 'you'

Tons of love

Hana

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Start it within ourselves

Damn. Feels like ages huh? I've been away from blogging for a week & my brain couldn’t stop to make so much thought inside my head. I don’t know where to start *again* I got so much ideas inside but it’s a little bit hard to write it out. Maybe this is the side effect of too much self torturing for my mid test. Oh anyway I just finished my mid test last Thursday, it spent four days and I hope I’ll got at least good mark on it. Emm well should I tell you this or not? Okay, I’ll tell you.

I start to love this new whole beginning. Well, seems so cliché right? Menyehehe I warn you before. Didn’t know what had happen but…I feel bounded with them, feels like I belong here, and fitted perfectly here. I really am enjoying this new neighborhood. New friends, new place, new condition, new environment, New Year and also new experience for being a university student. Isn't it feels indescribable adorable right? You told me. As most of you feel when you stepped for the first time on University…that feeling, when you feel so missed high school time and start comparing high school time with your new premises in the University that in fact the people inside the community has a high degree of individuality.  Isn’t it feels much better now is it? Thing doesn’t get worse now right? You got friends that just like you lately right? Everything need time, much less time to adapt. Adaptation is needed in some case and condition. But you have to be you, adaptation mean changing your way of doing something, but not the whole you. You don’t have to be someone else to fit in some community. You don’t have to be ashamed and afraid of being different. In some way being different is good. You know, no one is better than you to be you. If they don’t accept you for who you are, you don’t have to change, but they are. It’s not your loss to lose something like them, it’s their loss. If you choose to change in order to fit in someone wants you might losing someone who love you for who you are. So, don’t.

Being different is beautiful. There will be no beautiful word if there was no difference in this world. Imagine if all of people are blue-eyed, blonde and all tall. It is definitely would be extremely boring right, living in a world full of similarities. Remember there is no one that has the right to force you to be someone else but yourself.

"Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself". - Harvey Fierstein

“First, you have to love yourself in order to love others.

Start it within ourselves

and the universe itself

will love us

for return.” 

–Hana Novita

I'm different and I'm  proud of being me,

Much love

Hana

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They called best friends

I writing this while remembering our stupid and silly face that we make when we did something stupid

Dedicated to:

Faranindya W. A and Monica Amadea

 Dear best friend

You’re not genius but you always give solution for every problem that I have.

You’re not clown but you always make me laugh every time I almost cry.

You don’t have any family relation with me but we connected with each other.

You know my ugliest side.

You know my weakness.

You know my bad habit.

You know almost every single thing about me, for the good and the bad, and you still there right beside me.

You’re not perfect and So do I.

We cry. We smile. We sing. We laugh. We take pictures. We eat a lot. We shop. We sleep over. We make a phone call. We YM-ing. We go to church. We gossiped. We did stupid things. We did mistakes. We go out. We are and always be…

…together.

We disagree sometimes.

We laugh at the randomest things.

We never fight.

When I’m sad you were always there to make sure I’m okay.

Thanks for being there for me.

I LOVE YOU, forever and always.

“Sometimes, you just need a little hope. Sometimes, you just need a friend.” – Nick Jonas

“A friend is someone who dances with you in the sunlight and walks beside you in the shadows.” – Unknown

“A true friend is the only person who never gets tired of listening to your own pointless dramas over and over again.”

Wish you all were here

Much love

Hanna 

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He saved me. Again and again...

The first word that came out from my mouth is ZOMG. I don’t where to start, I don’t know what word that could represent my feeling, I don’t know how to explain this…Oh My God Jesus Christ I’m very, very surprised. Shocked. Startled. Am I dreaming? Or Am I living in a soap opera? Is it real? IS THIS REALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL?! Ok *inhale *exhale.

Is human population increasing that quickly? “WHY THE WORLD IS SO CRAMPED?” everything that I did, I do & I will do always related to someone’s life out there. I know this world is crowded. I know Indonesia has a huge number of human populations. I know these towns where I live in now, where I studying now is consist of thousand of schools *Oh ok I’m talking out of the topic*. But why do I need to meet you? Not someone else. Not your friends. Not your relative either. Why YOU? Ok let say this is my bad. My false for letting myself to fall for someone like you, for having a crush with someone like you. You know a guy like your kind should be using a big sign board above your head like “Girls if you fall for us, don’t blame us for your tears and sadness.” Why that kind of human should be exist? Why people keep seeing other by its cover? Why girls keep falling for that kind of human? God for shake, you embarrass ‘good guy race’ out there. Why? Why? Why? You can be even better than this. Baby boy, you’re not ugly, you’re not even stupid or poor either. But why you have to be jerk? You can be every girl’s prince charming. If you want to and if you COULD change. By the way I think you should know something. 

Note this:

Not every girl around you is dazzled by your wealth. Not every girls around you is materialistic, even most of them is. Not every girl around you is craving for popularity. Not every girl around you is ‘can be purchased’, even some of them is. Not every girl around you is available to go out midnight, even most of them is. Not every girl around you is comfort with your ‘physical contact habit’, even most of them is ‘enjoyed’ that.

"Looks may attract them, but your personality is what keeps them there."

You know. I was terribly wrong about you. I was blinded by your ‘fake’ kindness. I was too hypocrite. And I blame myself for almost a week because this wrong option that I took & chose myself. I was too careless by ignore my friend advice.

I’m too easy to give someone my trust when the fact is you are someone who isn’t trustworthy. I got a really bad feeling on that night, when you right away talked about that topic, with me, two of us, in the car, almost midnight. But I keep my mind in ‘positive thinking minded’ that night.

I couldn’t imagine what will happen if I didn’t refuse your invitation. I just don’t want to thinking about it. What a stupid and reckless girl I am…

Lately I know your black history list. I don’t know how the story is revealed this clear in front of me, I don’t know why the door is wide open for me to reveal yours. I’m not as cruel as you. I don’t want to make you feel broken that deep by reveal the truth here, even maybe there are dozens of girl that you have used for having fun. I prayed for that girl, the one of the dozens that you hurt that much to be strong and forgive you.

God never fall asleep, He is 24/7 standby for us. Caring and protecting us. Boy, if there’s no one that will slap you on the face, trust me, Karma will.

I thanked for Jesus that stay with me that night -and I know like He always did-, to protect me and remind me to choose the right way, to keep me stay strong in faith, to keep me save. I thanked Him for the broken-heart time, I just realize this is one of His way to show me that he isn’t worthy, that he isn’t a good guy for me and the most important one is…He let me feel broken-heart to let another good one to walk into my life. I know He loves me, like no one ever could. He helps me through anything, maybe I can’t see him literally helping me. But I know He always send me His right hand…super huge hugs and kisses that I send for them; My best friends, my boarding-house-mate-friend, my mom. As always, I love them like no one would ever do.

"Stay true to your friends, they may just last a lifetime."

Dedicated to D, F, D & M 

Eternal love just for you girls

Much love & hug

Hanna

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He said...

"Expectation is the root of all heartache" - William Shakespeare

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Little thing that would be nothing

I want to inspire you

I want to uplift you

I want to comfort you

I want to protect you

I want to tease you

I want to kiss you

I want to hug you

I want to heal you

I want to hold you

I want to hear you

I want to tell you

I want to feel you

I want you

But it was.

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Want or won't

Admit it: You won't like someone you can't have, because He's already with someone else." -@Hannahasan

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Invisible...it is inside us.

Human have a tendency to never feel satisfied. There no measure that is ever fitted perfectly to our wish. Nothing is  good enough. Even we were on the top standard of living. Honestly, no one is honest enough to admit that their life is full of prestige competition. Because people keep looking for what they have, not what they are. You can be rich, you can be a billionaire,  you can be the prettiest girl in the world...but don't you remember? Things would lose it's value someday, I can't tell exactly when but it must be happen. Wealth can disappear in a second, beauty faded, people getting older every second of their life, sickness snatch healthiness, and everyone sooner or later gonna ended with one same story.  One day...all of us just gonna be a history. And what we left behind? Is it our wealth? Is it our popularity? Or is it our position in our present life? No, it is definitely not. What is left then? Memories. Memories that we leave on the people around us. The way we make other people feel around us. We can't see memories, because it is invisible, untouchable. Memories isn't a view that our eyes see, a voices that our ears hear. It's inside us. Memories is what eyes can't see but heart can feel, what brain could forget but heart will never forget the way it makes us feel. We cry, not because we have seen bad things but the way that eyes speak to the heart...to feel what we see. We are heart broken, not because what we have seen or what we have been heard...it's because we feel. Feeling provoke us to do almost everything in life.

Life isn't supposed to make you feel happy

It isn't meant to make you feel sad either

It's just there to make you feel...

Life is the biggest gift that God gives us. Life, one word, four letters that have more than billion explanation. There's nothing we need to regret. Life is blessing. You have over thousand step ahead to walk and it's just the beginning. Live your life, love your life. Count your blessings not your blemish. God is always there right beside you when you're mired in a real deep ravine... He's gonna be there to threw the ropes and lift you up. God is always right behind you, when you fall down and no longer able to walk, He's right behind you...to help you and carry you to the finish line. He's right there. Everywhere...every time you needed Him, even you don't ask for a help, He will grab your hand and put it on His shoulder...He wants you to share your burden...moreover your happiness.

Keep the faith, God right there beside you

Much Love.

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In short...it's called choices.

Life isn't about keeping score. It's not about how many people call you and it's not about who you've dated, are dating, or haven't dated at all. It isn't about who you've kissed, what sport you play, or which guy or girl likes you. It's not about your shoes or your hair or the color of your skin or where you live or go to school. In fact, it's not about grades, money, clothes, boyfriends, or colleges that accept you or not. Life isn't about if you have lots of friends, or if you are alone, and it's not about how accepted or unaccepted you are. Life just isn't about that. But life is about who you love and who you hurt. Life is about the way you makes other people feel. It's about how you feel about yourself. It's about trust, happiness, and compassion. Life is about avoiding jealousy, overcoming ignorance, and building confidence. It's about what you say and what you mean. It's about seeing people for who they are and not what they have. Most of all, it is about choosing to use your life to touch someone else's in a way that could never have been achieved otherwise. These choices are what life's about.

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass.

It is all about dancing in the rain! 

Life is  a choices.

You decide. 

Much love ,

Hanna 

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I need this one...

"If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it."

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Can I just tell the truth?

Recent song: Teardrops On My Guitar – Taylor Swift

“He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar…

The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star…

He's the song in the car I keep singing

Don't know why I do”

I've retired being hypocrite. Sometimes I keep forcing myself to believe a thing that isn’t the truth. Lip says no, but heart keeps on saying yes. Because I know, I need to help myself from self destruction. There’s should be a big wall strong planned outside that fragile little thing called heart. Sometimes it just too tiring to keep mends my life that has been broken before. Mend it up again and again then someone walks into my life with one sad ending. Such a pathetic life I had…or it is only my own opinion? Have you ever feels like you became someone’s world, someone’s everything and then in all of sudden you’re ended like tasteless gum on the dustbin? Can I get out from this too complex life things? Can I just tell the truth? Can I just feel like average teenager feels when they’re in love? Can I just….once…say yes for something I really want to? Sorry, I’m just too melancholic. I’m just too tired…really…I can’t stand anymore.

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Them

So many times,

 life is unpredictable. 

You'll have both bad and good days.

And really in the end, the only thing that matters is whose still there by your side.

Xoxo

Hanna

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Wishing this wishing that

Once in your life journey you feel like you need to pause your life, you need to stop and hiding somewhere. Looking for protection. Craving for love. And tired of being hurt. Sick of drama. Full of shit. Oh my God, I’m just seventeen last month and I already have bunch of life troubles. Sometimes I am thinking about getting back in the past. In my lovely childhood times when lost my candy is the only trouble that would make me cry. But this is life, the thing is, life isn’t a game, life isn’t a movie. All we can do is just survive or die. Wishing you has a time machine? Everyone would kill to get that…

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