Happiness Logic (Part 1)

Track Playing On Repeat: Who You Are – Jessie J

Everyone whose playlist have ever been in shuffle must be once got their playlist know their feeling better than anyone. Push the play button, turn the shuffle icon and let the magic happen.

What did you say each time you woke up late?
What did you see as you stare at your reflection in the mirror?
What did you feel when you saw others are more than yourself?

Do not ever dare to say you have never ever cursed God, grumbled, and lament your life.

One morning you wake up; look back at your life records that kinda look like shit;

Find it very pissed then blame everything that comes across.

One day you go out and want everything to be yours.

One night you're stupefied thinking about anything you do not want in your life, wishing it all would disappear in a blink.
Wish if someday things that happened to someone else are happening to you.

Sinking in the sadness you made yourself, by said "If only I were you..."

Not always everything the same as it seemed. That's why we're called human beings; we are playing trick on our mind, even self-deception.

What you see OUTSIDE:

You saw a gorgeous girl whose car is fancy walking out from her car welcomed by her friends who’s as gorgeous as her and right beside her a friggin’ handsome boy who held her waist. You feel to be the most unfortunate in the world ... but wait.

  

What you need to see INSIDE:

You have no idea when that gorgeous girl was crying every night in her room, contemplating her fate that’s never been happier than any other girl even though she has all the things that no one else has.

Learn something already?

You only see the tip of the iceberg on a deep blue ocean; you not close enough to see the bottom of it that covered by water. Look closer, know deeper, see wider. What do you see? It is particularly only the reflection of happiness. What happened exactly? This is what I call with ‘The Sugarcoated happiness’. Unhappiness wrapped in a finest artificial happiness cover.

F Perl, Once said: “You are not in this world to live up to other people’s expectations, nor should you feel the world must live up to yours”

Live the life you wanted to be; be with someone you wanted to share your whole lifetime with; make friends with people you could put your trust in; the most important is… be honest. First to yourself. If you’re not happy, try and fight for it. Don’t  ever bother to faking it when it’s not even look like one.

People this day, describe their happiness by what people said, what do they look like, property they have, money they earn, things they’re spent on, friends they hang out with, house they’re living in, school they’re graduate from.

God, what on earth is going on now? If it is your happiness level meter, you are on the wrong direction. Not even close. Happiness is way 19999999999999 miles far from that, buddy. You are too busy thinking about how to impress people you don’t even like and do things you don’t even want to? Please, sit there and have a serious talk with yourself.

...or, you could talk to me.

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Just give a try

So many things occurred during these months. And I don’t even know where I suppose to start the story. I witnessed, heard and felt what I had never felt before…

Everyday everyone in any part of the earth is struggling with love. Whatever they’re going through, tears or laugh, with or without love, in fact they still able to live their life. It’s only, they often stop trying, losing hope, and at the end… they feel like they were fell down, couldn’t get up anymore, got lost and didn’t know way back home. But the whole thing was merely feelings. Got your eyes closed to stop looking at the reality. Yes, you fell off; you were two stair-steps backwards and just give yourself up. But, honey look ahead, look, there is only a stair-step left. Yes, you fell off this hard and found out there’s no helping hand for you to grasp, but look around… didn’t you notice the sturdy handrails, did you?. Yes, you fell down and wounded your knee, but remember they’ll get better eventually.

It is not supposed to makes any difference, between now and years ago. Remember then, when you couldn’t stand, you crawled; you did anything to make you keep moving. When you fell down, reach anything around you, and just give them a try. You used to stand after falling over and over again; you were a strong little girl then.

And you supposed to be now.

Cries make you able to sense happiness. Disappointment teaches you to gratitude the littlest things in life. Betrayal is one of billion ways that God sent to show you who are really true until the very end. For them who come to you in a very short time, makes you realize that’s not everyone do really care about you and your problem, sometimes the curiosity leads them come into your life.

Waiting… isn’t that bad actually. Sometimes, there are many things that humans don’t understand. Every single moment that occurs is needed process. Even though at the end of your waiting, you were way too far from your expectation, at least you have tried and waited. The end isn’t that crucial yet memorable, the moment in between the beginning and the end is. That’s whose shape you to be who you are.  You truly are.

Hence, face your problems, hang in there among thousands reasons that knock you down for one single reason which build you up and will keep you run. If you have to fight, fight to die.  

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A Runner

There are times when we want to return to the past, to lose memories, and feel unable to stop looking backward. There is one philosophy that I love the most ‘bout life. A philosophy of a runner. A good runner is the one who ran as he leaned his body forward and keep looking ahead, but one time there was a time when he wants to look back. Seeing how far he had ran. To see where his opponent’s position is. Then what happen? 

He fell and failed to win the game. The runner is me, you. Us. In the present time. When we keep looking backward, keep regretting the past that have occurred. We can’t move on even more letting go. Trapped and having no effort and courage to creating new step. And not trying, even when we know it’s the only way. Keep staring at the footprints that have been made, won’t change a thing. You cannot move forward if you continue to hold on to what’s behind you. It’s time to let go so that you will have both hands open to grab a hold of the future. Cause you know what? Tragedies did happen. Then what are you gonna do? Stop trying? Give up? Quit? No. When your heart breaks, you have to fight like hell to make sure you’re still alive. Because you are …and that pain you feel, it’s life.

To let go is to be thankful for past time that made you laugh, cry and made you grow. It’s about all you had, all you have and all that you’ll have soon. Letting go is having the courage to accept change, and the strength to keep moving. Letting go is growing up.

When life is sweet, say thank you and celebrate. And when life is getting bitter, say thank you and grow.

& I said thankyou for reading

Love

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The Cure

The water in the open ocean greet the sun, the sun makes it evaporates away into the blue sky high, in a short time the blue sky vanished into dark gray and wet and gloomy, look like it would crying over mother earth, the greenish and brownish earth’s surface overrun by tens millions of tiny raindrop that fall together.

The rain. For me personally it represents so many feelings. I saw an old man rode his bike into the rain, holding stacks of plastic-covered of crumpled newspaper. His body hit by the rain that punctured his skin, but look at the tip of his lips…knotted smile appeared. I saw little kids jogging, dancing and cheering in the rain with ball in their hands. I saw a man wearing his umbrella in the rain ran over to his lover with a warm and intimate hug that sweeps over the atmosphere. I saw… a lot of things that rain brought down to earth. I see a lot of love.

Any human being in the world basically needed love, just like plants need fertilizer to grow which the fertilizer needs man help to fertilize plants, and man needs their hands to hold it, and hands were created with ten fingers on it that fit someone hands. And love is needed to make this happen.

I think, rain explained many things. Rain makes someone shed tears as they remembered someone that take place in their heart. Rain makes someone smile without any reason. Rain brings up so many feeling, revealed so many memories, and a good friend when we feel low.

Nonetheless, rain made me see in different point of view. Cause I’ve conclude that rain brings love to earth. It comes with secret mission… I think. It showering earth with water and cooling earth for a moment to create a sense of warmth by giving cold.

This world is so cluttered and considerably lack of love, it crowded with hatred and needed a cure. And…the rain brings it along as they come.

Wish I could be the rain on your life

Love

Hanna

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Sunday morning

"People simply need three things to be truly happy in this world. Someone to love, things to do & something to look forward." -Mommy♡♥

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God would do nothing on you...

Do you believe that time heals? Cause I used to believe it. Pain grows larger and deeper without any cure given even when time blew deceiving eyes. I guess trust faded as the time turning over and over. I guess, love either.

My brain isn’t functioning perfectly. My heart ached. My head feel heavy. I heard that. The sadness that I have seen in every single word you said. Your puffy eyes never lie. I feel you, evenwhen I couldn’t see you. I know, you feel me near… Cause I’ll go nowhere but your heart. The only thing that would make me feel relieved is to see you happy. Please, live in happiness. I could. Not. See you like this any longer…

Loving you is just not enough

compared with your unconditional love

Just grown up girl

Hana

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The Movement Against Hunger #2 - Be Grateful

I saw a documentary film at church about the movement against hunger in earth. Began with set in a fast food restaurant, and then turned to a group of teenager who were chatting while eating. Not too long after that they left the restaurant with the leftover food on the table. Then the scene focused into the restaurant kitchen, especially the trash  where the rest of the foods that had been consumed by the visitors located, and then there came a feeble old man with a rubbish basket, he took the rest of the junk foods and choose the parts that are not too dirty and still left quite a lot. He arrived home and was welcomed by five children poured out of the house with a face full of joy. And they were his children, the father opened the basket and the children scramble to take the leftover food restaurant. And they ate it. They ate the rest of the foods with a great happiness that glows from their eyes that night. And the most surprising part is the father didn’t forget to lead the prayer before the dinner and He said to his children to always give thanks for the food that they get. Then this film ended by the family laughter and smiles during the dinner…

"There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread."
-- Mohandas K. Gandhi

Heartbreaking, really.

Pathetic to see some people couldn't realize how lucky they are compared to people like the garbage picker man. Many people always feel dissatisfied and insufficient with what they currently have; they continuously compare their lives with people whose standards of living are much higher than theirs. Don’t they remember? There are many people whose life is far beneath the poverty threshold, who live under the bridges, survive with a bit of hopes and skills to obtain a bite of rice. Don’t they realize? Life would be better if they begin to be grateful for their lives; for what they currently have; for the things they get without asking; for convenience that anyone else don’t get; for excess food that they could afford.

Be grateful for your life now, for everything that affluent even excessive.

Change your view of life; take decision to be a better you. For those who suffer from hunger which snatched their happiness; for those who are in pain because starvation; for those who already taken; for those who keep smiling even though skin is the only thing that left overlying their bodies.

'The war against hunger is truly mankind's war of liberation."
-- John F. Kennedy

When you decide to help the hungry people by giving food that was formerly part of the food that you dispose uselessly , it mean you played a role in the movement against hunger. 13 million children are in hunger around the world and 40,000 people die every day from hunger. Make a change and be a part of few people that helped the starving.

"Why should there be hunger and deprivation in any land, in any city, at any table, when man has the resources and the scientific know-how to provide all mankind with the basic necessities of life? There is no deficit in human resources. The deficit is in human will."
-- Martin Luther King, Jr

© Original made by Hana Novita Hasan

Click these link to Help Them:

Action Against Hunger

Better World: End Hunger

Hungry Children

Children Hunger Ends Here

Feed The Children

Love

Hana

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The Movement Against Hunger #1 - Day Minus 5

"Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough."
-Oprah Winfrey

I’m a big food lover. I’d love to accept anyone who invites me for a culinary tour. I stand for hours to see TV show about food and cooking. Basically, I love eating. I frequently spend time with some of my friends hanging out to go eating. And often, I saw they are wasting foods in vain. Especially, rice. I don’t know is there any special reason behind that. Some of them just ate one or two spoons, and then the rest is wasted. Maybe they don’t like it and decide to not eat it. I thought they shouldn’t ordering food that they don’t like, do they? I really don’t like those types who love to throw food, not only because I’m a foodie, but also there is something extremely crucial behind a bite of rice that being wasted.

Far out there, somewhere, there are hundreds or even millions people drenched in sweat toil every day, against the heat of afternoon sun in the middle of the street selling newspaper, busking, scavenger, fight tooth and nail don’t considering the mounting tiredness, or maybe stealing or picking pockets up, until the worst is willing to die for a dime of money for a bite of rice. Noticeable difference. Social gaps that is so pathetic. People throw away foods that easy and the other sides there are people who scavenge food from the garbage can.

"When we work to end childhood hunger, we are giving our love to kids who need it so much they will never ask for it."
-- Beau Bridges

I grew up with a strong embedded self consciousness about appreciating foods, about how grateful that we are able to eat without working hard. Sometimes some people forget how it feels struggling or had never feeling a hard life thereby making them forget to be grateful. Or at least show their appreciation for their parent hard work to earn money by being wise in ‘throwing foods case’. I didn’t mean to offend anyone, let alone patronizing you. I just expressed what had been jammed in my mind; write what I think needs to be written and tell what I think you all need to know. No more, no less….

Help those who is in hunger with small things like stop wasting food.
-- Hana Novita Hasan

© Original made by Hana Novita Hasan

"We know that a peaceful world cannot long exist, one-third rich and two-thirds hungry."
-- Jimmy Carter

"We need to stop the dying and start the living; stop the hunger and start the hoping."
-- Penelope Cruz

Click here to see about Movement Against Hunger, and also here.

Love

Hanna

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Random thought...

S H E

Teach me right from wrong.

Teach me to see everything in every different point of view.

Teach me to stop hating.

Teach me to stop holding grudges; life is too short to spend in vain.

Teach me to let go of something that suppose to gone.

Teach me to forget anything that isn’t worth to stay.

Teach me to forgive anyone who did mistakes; cause I did mistakes too; people did; everyone did; no one never do mistakes; mistakes are there to give us life learning; to differ the right from the wrong one.

Teach me to feel thanked in every life condition; because life itself is a blessing.

Teach me to surrender in God; because when there is no one that able to help me, remember that I will always in His reach; whenever I needed Him, all I need to do is fold my hands and close my eyes; then pray.

She is the first person that tells me that nothing is impossible; I thought she was right because the word ‘impossible’ itself say: “I’m-possible”.

Don’t be surprised if most of my blog post contained about my mom. Since she is everything and mean the world to me, I’ll just write about her… again and again. I love her more than anything.

"It's not easy being a mother.  If it were easy, fathers would do it." – Unknown. 

Thanks for the love mom

Much love from the distance

Your little badass girl

Hanna

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Start it within ourselves

Damn. Feels like ages huh? I've been away from blogging for a week & my brain couldn’t stop to make so much thought inside my head. I don’t know where to start *again* I got so much ideas inside but it’s a little bit hard to write it out. Maybe this is the side effect of too much self torturing for my mid test. Oh anyway I just finished my mid test last Thursday, it spent four days and I hope I’ll got at least good mark on it. Emm well should I tell you this or not? Okay, I’ll tell you.

I start to love this new whole beginning. Well, seems so cliché right? Menyehehe I warn you before. Didn’t know what had happen but…I feel bounded with them, feels like I belong here, and fitted perfectly here. I really am enjoying this new neighborhood. New friends, new place, new condition, new environment, New Year and also new experience for being a university student. Isn't it feels indescribable adorable right? You told me. As most of you feel when you stepped for the first time on University…that feeling, when you feel so missed high school time and start comparing high school time with your new premises in the University that in fact the people inside the community has a high degree of individuality.  Isn’t it feels much better now is it? Thing doesn’t get worse now right? You got friends that just like you lately right? Everything need time, much less time to adapt. Adaptation is needed in some case and condition. But you have to be you, adaptation mean changing your way of doing something, but not the whole you. You don’t have to be someone else to fit in some community. You don’t have to be ashamed and afraid of being different. In some way being different is good. You know, no one is better than you to be you. If they don’t accept you for who you are, you don’t have to change, but they are. It’s not your loss to lose something like them, it’s their loss. If you choose to change in order to fit in someone wants you might losing someone who love you for who you are. So, don’t.

Being different is beautiful. There will be no beautiful word if there was no difference in this world. Imagine if all of people are blue-eyed, blonde and all tall. It is definitely would be extremely boring right, living in a world full of similarities. Remember there is no one that has the right to force you to be someone else but yourself.

"Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself". - Harvey Fierstein

“First, you have to love yourself in order to love others.

Start it within ourselves

and the universe itself

will love us

for return.” 

–Hana Novita

I'm different and I'm  proud of being me,

Much love

Hana

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They called best friends

I writing this while remembering our stupid and silly face that we make when we did something stupid

Dedicated to:

Faranindya W. A and Monica Amadea

 Dear best friend

You’re not genius but you always give solution for every problem that I have.

You’re not clown but you always make me laugh every time I almost cry.

You don’t have any family relation with me but we connected with each other.

You know my ugliest side.

You know my weakness.

You know my bad habit.

You know almost every single thing about me, for the good and the bad, and you still there right beside me.

You’re not perfect and So do I.

We cry. We smile. We sing. We laugh. We take pictures. We eat a lot. We shop. We sleep over. We make a phone call. We YM-ing. We go to church. We gossiped. We did stupid things. We did mistakes. We go out. We are and always be…

…together.

We disagree sometimes.

We laugh at the randomest things.

We never fight.

When I’m sad you were always there to make sure I’m okay.

Thanks for being there for me.

I LOVE YOU, forever and always.

“Sometimes, you just need a little hope. Sometimes, you just need a friend.” – Nick Jonas

“A friend is someone who dances with you in the sunlight and walks beside you in the shadows.” – Unknown

“A true friend is the only person who never gets tired of listening to your own pointless dramas over and over again.”

Wish you all were here

Much love

Hanna 

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He saved me. Again and again...

The first word that came out from my mouth is ZOMG. I don’t where to start, I don’t know what word that could represent my feeling, I don’t know how to explain this…Oh My God Jesus Christ I’m very, very surprised. Shocked. Startled. Am I dreaming? Or Am I living in a soap opera? Is it real? IS THIS REALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL?! Ok *inhale *exhale.

Is human population increasing that quickly? “WHY THE WORLD IS SO CRAMPED?” everything that I did, I do & I will do always related to someone’s life out there. I know this world is crowded. I know Indonesia has a huge number of human populations. I know these towns where I live in now, where I studying now is consist of thousand of schools *Oh ok I’m talking out of the topic*. But why do I need to meet you? Not someone else. Not your friends. Not your relative either. Why YOU? Ok let say this is my bad. My false for letting myself to fall for someone like you, for having a crush with someone like you. You know a guy like your kind should be using a big sign board above your head like “Girls if you fall for us, don’t blame us for your tears and sadness.” Why that kind of human should be exist? Why people keep seeing other by its cover? Why girls keep falling for that kind of human? God for shake, you embarrass ‘good guy race’ out there. Why? Why? Why? You can be even better than this. Baby boy, you’re not ugly, you’re not even stupid or poor either. But why you have to be jerk? You can be every girl’s prince charming. If you want to and if you COULD change. By the way I think you should know something. 

Note this:

Not every girl around you is dazzled by your wealth. Not every girls around you is materialistic, even most of them is. Not every girl around you is craving for popularity. Not every girl around you is ‘can be purchased’, even some of them is. Not every girl around you is available to go out midnight, even most of them is. Not every girl around you is comfort with your ‘physical contact habit’, even most of them is ‘enjoyed’ that.

"Looks may attract them, but your personality is what keeps them there."

You know. I was terribly wrong about you. I was blinded by your ‘fake’ kindness. I was too hypocrite. And I blame myself for almost a week because this wrong option that I took & chose myself. I was too careless by ignore my friend advice.

I’m too easy to give someone my trust when the fact is you are someone who isn’t trustworthy. I got a really bad feeling on that night, when you right away talked about that topic, with me, two of us, in the car, almost midnight. But I keep my mind in ‘positive thinking minded’ that night.

I couldn’t imagine what will happen if I didn’t refuse your invitation. I just don’t want to thinking about it. What a stupid and reckless girl I am…

Lately I know your black history list. I don’t know how the story is revealed this clear in front of me, I don’t know why the door is wide open for me to reveal yours. I’m not as cruel as you. I don’t want to make you feel broken that deep by reveal the truth here, even maybe there are dozens of girl that you have used for having fun. I prayed for that girl, the one of the dozens that you hurt that much to be strong and forgive you.

God never fall asleep, He is 24/7 standby for us. Caring and protecting us. Boy, if there’s no one that will slap you on the face, trust me, Karma will.

I thanked for Jesus that stay with me that night -and I know like He always did-, to protect me and remind me to choose the right way, to keep me stay strong in faith, to keep me save. I thanked Him for the broken-heart time, I just realize this is one of His way to show me that he isn’t worthy, that he isn’t a good guy for me and the most important one is…He let me feel broken-heart to let another good one to walk into my life. I know He loves me, like no one ever could. He helps me through anything, maybe I can’t see him literally helping me. But I know He always send me His right hand…super huge hugs and kisses that I send for them; My best friends, my boarding-house-mate-friend, my mom. As always, I love them like no one would ever do.

"Stay true to your friends, they may just last a lifetime."

Dedicated to D, F, D & M 

Eternal love just for you girls

Much love & hug

Hanna

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In short...it's called choices.

Life isn't about keeping score. It's not about how many people call you and it's not about who you've dated, are dating, or haven't dated at all. It isn't about who you've kissed, what sport you play, or which guy or girl likes you. It's not about your shoes or your hair or the color of your skin or where you live or go to school. In fact, it's not about grades, money, clothes, boyfriends, or colleges that accept you or not. Life isn't about if you have lots of friends, or if you are alone, and it's not about how accepted or unaccepted you are. Life just isn't about that. But life is about who you love and who you hurt. Life is about the way you makes other people feel. It's about how you feel about yourself. It's about trust, happiness, and compassion. Life is about avoiding jealousy, overcoming ignorance, and building confidence. It's about what you say and what you mean. It's about seeing people for who they are and not what they have. Most of all, it is about choosing to use your life to touch someone else's in a way that could never have been achieved otherwise. These choices are what life's about.

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass.

It is all about dancing in the rain! 

Life is  a choices.

You decide. 

Much love ,

Hanna 

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Wishing this wishing that

Once in your life journey you feel like you need to pause your life, you need to stop and hiding somewhere. Looking for protection. Craving for love. And tired of being hurt. Sick of drama. Full of shit. Oh my God, I’m just seventeen last month and I already have bunch of life troubles. Sometimes I am thinking about getting back in the past. In my lovely childhood times when lost my candy is the only trouble that would make me cry. But this is life, the thing is, life isn’t a game, life isn’t a movie. All we can do is just survive or die. Wishing you has a time machine? Everyone would kill to get that…

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