They called best friends

I writing this while remembering our stupid and silly face that we make when we did something stupid

Dedicated to:

Faranindya W. A and Monica Amadea

 Dear best friend

You’re not genius but you always give solution for every problem that I have.

You’re not clown but you always make me laugh every time I almost cry.

You don’t have any family relation with me but we connected with each other.

You know my ugliest side.

You know my weakness.

You know my bad habit.

You know almost every single thing about me, for the good and the bad, and you still there right beside me.

You’re not perfect and So do I.

We cry. We smile. We sing. We laugh. We take pictures. We eat a lot. We shop. We sleep over. We make a phone call. We YM-ing. We go to church. We gossiped. We did stupid things. We did mistakes. We go out. We are and always be…

…together.

We disagree sometimes.

We laugh at the randomest things.

We never fight.

When I’m sad you were always there to make sure I’m okay.

Thanks for being there for me.

I LOVE YOU, forever and always.

“Sometimes, you just need a little hope. Sometimes, you just need a friend.” – Nick Jonas

“A friend is someone who dances with you in the sunlight and walks beside you in the shadows.” – Unknown

“A true friend is the only person who never gets tired of listening to your own pointless dramas over and over again.”

Wish you all were here

Much love

Hanna 

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He saved me. Again and again...

The first word that came out from my mouth is ZOMG. I don’t where to start, I don’t know what word that could represent my feeling, I don’t know how to explain this…Oh My God Jesus Christ I’m very, very surprised. Shocked. Startled. Am I dreaming? Or Am I living in a soap opera? Is it real? IS THIS REALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL?! Ok *inhale *exhale.

Is human population increasing that quickly? “WHY THE WORLD IS SO CRAMPED?” everything that I did, I do & I will do always related to someone’s life out there. I know this world is crowded. I know Indonesia has a huge number of human populations. I know these towns where I live in now, where I studying now is consist of thousand of schools *Oh ok I’m talking out of the topic*. But why do I need to meet you? Not someone else. Not your friends. Not your relative either. Why YOU? Ok let say this is my bad. My false for letting myself to fall for someone like you, for having a crush with someone like you. You know a guy like your kind should be using a big sign board above your head like “Girls if you fall for us, don’t blame us for your tears and sadness.” Why that kind of human should be exist? Why people keep seeing other by its cover? Why girls keep falling for that kind of human? God for shake, you embarrass ‘good guy race’ out there. Why? Why? Why? You can be even better than this. Baby boy, you’re not ugly, you’re not even stupid or poor either. But why you have to be jerk? You can be every girl’s prince charming. If you want to and if you COULD change. By the way I think you should know something. 

Note this:

Not every girl around you is dazzled by your wealth. Not every girls around you is materialistic, even most of them is. Not every girl around you is craving for popularity. Not every girl around you is ‘can be purchased’, even some of them is. Not every girl around you is available to go out midnight, even most of them is. Not every girl around you is comfort with your ‘physical contact habit’, even most of them is ‘enjoyed’ that.

"Looks may attract them, but your personality is what keeps them there."

You know. I was terribly wrong about you. I was blinded by your ‘fake’ kindness. I was too hypocrite. And I blame myself for almost a week because this wrong option that I took & chose myself. I was too careless by ignore my friend advice.

I’m too easy to give someone my trust when the fact is you are someone who isn’t trustworthy. I got a really bad feeling on that night, when you right away talked about that topic, with me, two of us, in the car, almost midnight. But I keep my mind in ‘positive thinking minded’ that night.

I couldn’t imagine what will happen if I didn’t refuse your invitation. I just don’t want to thinking about it. What a stupid and reckless girl I am…

Lately I know your black history list. I don’t know how the story is revealed this clear in front of me, I don’t know why the door is wide open for me to reveal yours. I’m not as cruel as you. I don’t want to make you feel broken that deep by reveal the truth here, even maybe there are dozens of girl that you have used for having fun. I prayed for that girl, the one of the dozens that you hurt that much to be strong and forgive you.

God never fall asleep, He is 24/7 standby for us. Caring and protecting us. Boy, if there’s no one that will slap you on the face, trust me, Karma will.

I thanked for Jesus that stay with me that night -and I know like He always did-, to protect me and remind me to choose the right way, to keep me stay strong in faith, to keep me save. I thanked Him for the broken-heart time, I just realize this is one of His way to show me that he isn’t worthy, that he isn’t a good guy for me and the most important one is…He let me feel broken-heart to let another good one to walk into my life. I know He loves me, like no one ever could. He helps me through anything, maybe I can’t see him literally helping me. But I know He always send me His right hand…super huge hugs and kisses that I send for them; My best friends, my boarding-house-mate-friend, my mom. As always, I love them like no one would ever do.

"Stay true to your friends, they may just last a lifetime."

Dedicated to D, F, D & M 

Eternal love just for you girls

Much love & hug

Hanna

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He said...

"Expectation is the root of all heartache" - William Shakespeare

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Little thing that would be nothing

I want to inspire you

I want to uplift you

I want to comfort you

I want to protect you

I want to tease you

I want to kiss you

I want to hug you

I want to heal you

I want to hold you

I want to hear you

I want to tell you

I want to feel you

I want you

But it was.

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Want or won't

Admit it: You won't like someone you can't have, because He's already with someone else." -@Hannahasan

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Invisible...it is inside us.

Human have a tendency to never feel satisfied. There no measure that is ever fitted perfectly to our wish. Nothing is  good enough. Even we were on the top standard of living. Honestly, no one is honest enough to admit that their life is full of prestige competition. Because people keep looking for what they have, not what they are. You can be rich, you can be a billionaire,  you can be the prettiest girl in the world...but don't you remember? Things would lose it's value someday, I can't tell exactly when but it must be happen. Wealth can disappear in a second, beauty faded, people getting older every second of their life, sickness snatch healthiness, and everyone sooner or later gonna ended with one same story.  One day...all of us just gonna be a history. And what we left behind? Is it our wealth? Is it our popularity? Or is it our position in our present life? No, it is definitely not. What is left then? Memories. Memories that we leave on the people around us. The way we make other people feel around us. We can't see memories, because it is invisible, untouchable. Memories isn't a view that our eyes see, a voices that our ears hear. It's inside us. Memories is what eyes can't see but heart can feel, what brain could forget but heart will never forget the way it makes us feel. We cry, not because we have seen bad things but the way that eyes speak to the heart...to feel what we see. We are heart broken, not because what we have seen or what we have been heard...it's because we feel. Feeling provoke us to do almost everything in life.

Life isn't supposed to make you feel happy

It isn't meant to make you feel sad either

It's just there to make you feel...

Life is the biggest gift that God gives us. Life, one word, four letters that have more than billion explanation. There's nothing we need to regret. Life is blessing. You have over thousand step ahead to walk and it's just the beginning. Live your life, love your life. Count your blessings not your blemish. God is always there right beside you when you're mired in a real deep ravine... He's gonna be there to threw the ropes and lift you up. God is always right behind you, when you fall down and no longer able to walk, He's right behind you...to help you and carry you to the finish line. He's right there. Everywhere...every time you needed Him, even you don't ask for a help, He will grab your hand and put it on His shoulder...He wants you to share your burden...moreover your happiness.

Keep the faith, God right there beside you

Much Love.

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In short...it's called choices.

Life isn't about keeping score. It's not about how many people call you and it's not about who you've dated, are dating, or haven't dated at all. It isn't about who you've kissed, what sport you play, or which guy or girl likes you. It's not about your shoes or your hair or the color of your skin or where you live or go to school. In fact, it's not about grades, money, clothes, boyfriends, or colleges that accept you or not. Life isn't about if you have lots of friends, or if you are alone, and it's not about how accepted or unaccepted you are. Life just isn't about that. But life is about who you love and who you hurt. Life is about the way you makes other people feel. It's about how you feel about yourself. It's about trust, happiness, and compassion. Life is about avoiding jealousy, overcoming ignorance, and building confidence. It's about what you say and what you mean. It's about seeing people for who they are and not what they have. Most of all, it is about choosing to use your life to touch someone else's in a way that could never have been achieved otherwise. These choices are what life's about.

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass.

It is all about dancing in the rain! 

Life is  a choices.

You decide. 

Much love ,

Hanna 

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I need this one...

"If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it."

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Can I just tell the truth?

Recent song: Teardrops On My Guitar – Taylor Swift

“He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar…

The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star…

He's the song in the car I keep singing

Don't know why I do”

I've retired being hypocrite. Sometimes I keep forcing myself to believe a thing that isn’t the truth. Lip says no, but heart keeps on saying yes. Because I know, I need to help myself from self destruction. There’s should be a big wall strong planned outside that fragile little thing called heart. Sometimes it just too tiring to keep mends my life that has been broken before. Mend it up again and again then someone walks into my life with one sad ending. Such a pathetic life I had…or it is only my own opinion? Have you ever feels like you became someone’s world, someone’s everything and then in all of sudden you’re ended like tasteless gum on the dustbin? Can I get out from this too complex life things? Can I just tell the truth? Can I just feel like average teenager feels when they’re in love? Can I just….once…say yes for something I really want to? Sorry, I’m just too melancholic. I’m just too tired…really…I can’t stand anymore.

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Them

So many times,

 life is unpredictable. 

You'll have both bad and good days.

And really in the end, the only thing that matters is whose still there by your side.

Xoxo

Hanna

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Wishing this wishing that

Once in your life journey you feel like you need to pause your life, you need to stop and hiding somewhere. Looking for protection. Craving for love. And tired of being hurt. Sick of drama. Full of shit. Oh my God, I’m just seventeen last month and I already have bunch of life troubles. Sometimes I am thinking about getting back in the past. In my lovely childhood times when lost my candy is the only trouble that would make me cry. But this is life, the thing is, life isn’t a game, life isn’t a movie. All we can do is just survive or die. Wishing you has a time machine? Everyone would kill to get that…

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